New Orleans
(Queenie walks under a bridge at night in the bad part of town.)
Homeless: Let me guess. You work the late shift, some shit-hole diner. Now you're taking the shortcut home. (He have a hammer.) You don't go home till I say. (He unzips zipper). (Queenie picks up a board with nails in it.) Make me fight for it, I'll carve you up in big thick slices, then plug every hole you got. (She jabs the nail into her hand.) What you did?
Queenie: What I do. This works, too. (She whacks him with board.)
Zoe (echoing): Queenie. Queenie.
(Madison and Zoe find her.)
Zoe: What the hell are you doing?
Queenie: Nothing you'd understand. This is voodoo.
Zoe: You're a witch. We need you back in the coven.
Queenie: Marie Laveau set me straight. You were never my friends.
Madison: Oh, boo-friggin'-hoo. You switched because girls were mean to you? Fiona slit my throat. You don't see me bitching out.
Zoe: We know our coven's a shit show right now. But things are changing. A new Supreme is rising.
Queenie: And who's that? You? Fiona filled my head with that bullshit, too. That bitch will say anything if it gets her what she wants. (She takes out a long dagger.) This isn't for you. Yet. (She dives it into the chest of the man she just knocked out.)
Madison: Holy shit.
Zoe: You just killed an innocent man!
Queenie: Innocent? Shows what you know. This bastard raped three schoolgirls that we know of, probably more. Marie Laveau needs a dark heart, and I'm gonna give it to her. (She pulls out the heart.) Voodoo Queen is making a special potion to give me more powers. Fiona ever do that? Huh? Voodoo, witchcraft. This town ain't big enough for the two of us. War is coming. And you're gonna lose.
-[OPENING CREDITS]-
Miss Robichaux's Academy
(In her room at the Academy, Fiona writhes in pain from the cancer.)
Fiona: Meningeal carcinomatosis. That's what the doctor called it. Tiny seedlings that the cancer planted in the lining of my spine. The little bastards are Satan's diet pill. I used to think I understood pain. A burn, a cut, a broken bone. Heartbreak. But this is as if I've been dipped in the River Styx and all the suffering of all the souls that ever were or will be has soaked my body. My body doesn't belong to me-- not that I'd want it in this state. I'm starting to look less Samantha and more Endora every day. And what could be more painful than having to tell your child that you're going to die?
[Remembers:
Fiona: The doctors say it's terminal.
Cordelia: Do me a favor. Die before Thanksgiving, so none of us have to suffer through that mess of raisins and Styrofoam you call stuffing.]
Axeman’s apartment
(In bed with the Axeman.)
Fiona: They say love is the best medicine.
Axeman: You are so beautiful.
Fiona! You're just a fool in love. You like the way I look, take a picture. A month from now, I'll be a… a balding and toothless skeleton.
Axeman: So run away with me. Paris. Rome. Marrakesh. We can spend that month together.
Fiona: I don't want you watching me decay.
Axeman: Are you scared?
Fiona: I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared of living like this. The constant pain and the ugliness.
Axeman: You ever consider making it stop?
Fiona: No. I wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of me killing myself.
Axeman: Mm.
Fiona: I'll stay alive just to spite them. You know, the only reason my cancer is moving so fast and my hair's falling out like dead weight is because one of those girls is coming into her own. Flexing her muscle. I just have to figure out which one of those little pecker-heads it is.
Ramsey’s home
(Joan nurses Luke.)
Joan: Bitch.
Luke: Her name is Nan.
Joan: Dark-sided. The whole lot of them. They worship the devil.
Luke: That's not true, Mother.
Joan: Where else could they get their dark power from? Look what they did to you.
Luke: You don't get it! They saved me!
(She slaps him.)
Joan: Only Jesus can save you. But only if you repent. Only if you cleanse yourself of all the impurities. "Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts."
Luke: Nothing happened in that house.
Joan: You brought this on yourself. You had no business going to that house.
Luke You don't have to do this, Mother.
Joan: Oh, but I do. You're unclean. From the inside out. But we're going to fix that. (She mixes up an enema.) Take off your pants.
Miss Robichaux's Academy
(Nan can hear that Luke’s in pain.)
Luke (crying):Don't! No, no! No! No!
(Nan runs to Cordelia’s office.)
Nan: She's hurting him.
Cordelia: Sit down, Nan. Let go of everything outside this room right now. Losing Queenie is a terrible failure. My failure. But as of now, she's dead to me. And no one else will slip through the cracks. Let's get back to the battle plan.
(Doorbell rings.)
Zoe: It begins with killing Fiona. We can't afford to wait.
Madison: I should be the one. I want to slit her throat.
Cordelia: No. You have to stay hidden until it's time. She cannot know you're back. We have one shot. That's it. Our plan has to be flawless. So does the execution. Failure turns this into a suicide mission. (Doorbell rings.) Where the hell is Spalding? Delphine?
Zoe: I'll get it.
Cordelia: What's the hell happening the staff in this house ?
(rapid knocking)
(Zoe opens the door.)
Zoe: Misty?
Misty: You have to save me. I knew the world could be a dark and evil place. It drove me to my haven in the swamp. I had my Stevie. My garden. (whispers) I tried to disappear into nature. But I have been found.
[Flash back to Mistys cabin
(She’s woken in the middle of the night by a re-animated Myrtle.)
Misty: Aw. Aw, you probably have no idea where you are. Hmm. You've been through a terrifying ordeal, but you came back. You're safe now.
Myrtle: Not likely, my dear. There's a man in the woods with a gun circling the shack. I saw the assassin when he nearly stepped on my face.
(heart beating)
Misty: Do you hear that?
Myrtle: No.
Misty: The cicadas have stopped singing.
(Floorboard creaks)
(Witches escape before the man enters Misty's home and blasts her bed.)
Flashback ends.]
Misty: We hid in the swamp through the night. Made our way here when I was sure he was gone.
Cordelia: Who's there?
Zoe: A witch. Seeking safety.
Misty: Somebody is looking to kill me.
(Cordelia takes her hand and sees her burning at the stake.)
Cordelia: You're Misty Day. You were set on fire and left for dead. Whatever troubles you had, they are ours now. You're under the protection of this coven. This is your house.
Misty: Could my friend stay, also? I left her out back in the greenhouse.
Greenhouse
Cordelia: Hello? Don't worry. You're amongst friends.
Myrtle: Of course I am, Cordelia. So long as Fiona isn't with you.
Cordelia: Myrtle? Oh, my God. I thought I'd never see you again.
Myrtle: Poor choice of words, girl. But given my wretched appearance, maybe it's a good thing you're blind as a butter knife.
Nan: How did your hair grow back so quick?
Myrtle: Oh, little bird, I've been buying in bulk from North Korea for years. (to Cordelia) What have they done to you?
Cordelia: I've lost my eyes. You were burned at the stake, and our own Supreme murdered one of her witches. I'm afraid this coven has fallen on hard times.
Myrtle: Or maybe it's the best of times. Resurrection is a feat more difficult than all the tests of the Seven Wonders. Those of us who have recently died have been brought back to life by the hand of one person here. Misty Day. Behold, our next Supreme.
House
(Zoe gives Kyle a childrens website to help him learn to talk.)
Male voice: Our journey starts today. Sort some sounds and read the books, and we'll be on our way.
(He try to kiss her.)
Zoe: I can't. Not now. We're doing a thing downstairs, so you have to stay here, okay? And get real smart. So you can finally tell me what's going on in your head.
(Madison joins them.)
Madison: Relax. We're sharing him, remember? (She kisses him.) What's this?
Zoe: We're gonna be busy all night. Now he has something to do.
Madison: Why can't he watch porn and jerk off like any other guy?
Zoe: And why can't he learn something so he can rejoin society and have a life?
Madison: (sighs) (to Kyle) Be good, baby. We'll have fun later.
(The coven gets ready for a ritual. They don red robes and black lace veils.)
Myrtle: Mothballs and history. It's a cocktail I swoon for.
Misty: I feel like a queen.
Madison: How does putting on this smelly old stuff help us get rid of Fiona?
Cordelia: It's part of a ceremony called the "Sacred Taking," which allows for the ascension of the new Supreme.
Zoe: And we're sure Misty's the next Supreme?
Myrtle: I'm certain of her credentials. She's brought back more people from the dead than Jesus Christ.
Madison: Disappointed? You thought it was you, didn't you?
Zoe: Well, I knew it wasn't you, because when Fiona cut your throat, you died.
Nan: It could be any one of us.
Madison: Not really. It's pretty obvious.
Nan: And what does that mean?
Cordelia: Being the Supreme isn't something to wish for. It's not a gift. It's a burden. How many of these women had happy lives? They had the power, but with it came the crushing responsibility of the coven. They all bowed under the weight, except my mother" who ran from it.
Misty: Can I say something? I don't want to be the Supreme.
Cordelia: Nobody gets to choose. When Fiona dies.., whoever it is will be. Now, give me your hands. We're ready to begin. The Sacred Taking is a ritual used in times of crisis to ensure the survival of the coven. It has been invoked three times in our history. The first, during the Salem Witch Trials in 1692. The coven had decided to flee south, away from Salem and the persecution of the Court of Oyer and Terminer. The reigning Supreme at that time, Prudence Mather, suffered from consumption, and knew she would be too weak to make the journey. She gathered her witches and invoked the Sacred Taking. It's the most hallowed sacrifice a Supreme can make. Prudence took her own life, which allowed a new Supreme to rise and lead them to safety.
Myrtle: Can you imagine those poor Salem witches, traveling all the way down here in covered wagons without a proper charcuterie platter or a bidet? Absolutely savage!
Madison: Does nobody see the flaw in this plan? You really expect that narcissistic bitch to kill herself for this coven?
Cordelia: Not without a push.
Fiona’s room
(Fiona heaves into the toilet.)
(The clock turns to midnight and Season of the Witch starts playing.)
♪ When I look out my window ♪
♪ Many sights to see ♪
♪ And when I look in my window… ♪
(Fiona comes into her room to see Madison dancing around.)
Madison: I just love this room, especially the walk-in closet. I need that. And my Warhol Mao would look great on this wall. (She laughs.)
Fiona: Madison?
Madison: Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me. Hmm. How soon can you have all of your stuff out of here? I really need my own room. Oh, and a bed. I can't wait to break it in. God knows it's not getting any action from you, Grandma.
Fiona: What are you?
♪ Must be the season of the witch, yeah ♪
Fiona: Who brought you back?
Madison: Are you deaf? I'm the next Supreme. I brought myself back. Looks like you've got some 'splainin' to do. Maybe we should call the Council. Oh, wait. You killed Myrtle, too. Well, that won't matter. We all know the playbook on this. You killed me, so we burn you at the stake. I'm gonna bring marshmallows and graham crackers to make s'mores.
Fiona: Does Cordelia know?
Madison: That you killed me? Everyone knows. You'll be hash browns by this time tomorrow. Of course, you're half-dead already.
♪ Sure is strange… ♪
Fiona: Get out! (door creaks open)
Madison: Poor Fifi. As my powers grow… yours fade away. Let me break this down for you-- and stop me if I talk too fast. I'm in, you're out. And you can leave this world one of two ways. You can burn at the stake tomorrow, which would be messy and painful, although very entertaining. Or… you can swallow these pills and go to sleep. Stop suffering. And stop our suffering. The choice is yours.
(She laughs and leaves.)
(Fiona starts packing.)
Myrtle: Going somewhere?
Fiona: Oh. Is everyone back from the dead, or have I already died and gone to heaven? Well, I suppose it would be hell, you know.
Myrtle: I've been resurrected by our new Supreme, young Madison. She rather reminds me of you in your youth, thin as a pin with a dreadful case of the "me, me, mes."
Fiona: Yes. Well, I wish her the best. I will be… on the island of Patmos.
Myrtle: That's not one of the choices, darling. Take your own life or be burned, I believe it was.
Fiona: No, I'm not ready. I have finally found someone belong to. Someone I truly love.
Myrtle: No details, darling. I couldn't bear it.
Fiona: I am very ill, Myrtle. I won't last long. And he wants to take care of me.
Myrtle: You haven't thought through this, Fiona. Maybe it's your weakened state.
(Footstep echoing)
Axeman: You're still my beautiful angel. (We see Fiona in hospital bed, the Axeman near her.)
Myrtle: This dream of a perfect love you're clinging to is just a nasty trick life is playing on you. You will die the same way you lived your life… alone and disappointed by everyone.
Fiona: What's the matter? Huh?
Myrtle: He won't stay till the end. They promise, but they don't.
Fiona: You are nothing but an envious old bitch.
Fiona: (to Axeman) Where are you going?
Axeman: This is taking too long for you to die.
Fiona: (whispering) Don't don't leave.
Axeman: The smells… they make me sick. Your breath, your piss, your shit… this whole room smells of death!
Fiona: I know. I' die soon. I promise.
Hallway
Zoe: How'd it go?
Madison: Boffo. She thinks I'm the next Supreme.
Nan: Why can't it be me?
Madison: Because you have no style and your pits smell like fish sticks.
Nan: (to Zoe) Do you think I could be the Supreme? (Zoe doesn’t answer, Nan leaves.) You guys suck balls.
Zoe: Nan…
(Waiting in his car outside, Hank sees her go across the street into Luke’s house.)
Ramsey’s house
Nan: Luke? Luke? Luke? (She hears screams and opens a door. She finds Luke bound and gagged in the closet ) Oh, God.
Miss Robichaux's Academy
Fiona’s bedroom
(Fiona has her hair wrapped up and is putting on make-up.)
Myrtle: You're preparing the corpse.
Fiona: Be a dear, will you? Come hold this mirror for me. My hand shakes so from those meds. Life is a carnival, Myrtle. Oh, my God. Do you remember Levon? The drummer with The Band. Great God, he was something. I was so crazy about him. We had such a… wild six months together in Woodstock. Anyway, the point is… some play it safe on the merry-go-round, others go for the thrills on the roller coaster. I mean, I could sit here and boo-hoo my choices, torment myself… over the selfish detours I have taken. But what good would it do now? Hmm? Do me a favor, get me my fur from the closet. They were all over me at season. But Levon, mm Oh, my. It was preemptive, I suppose, my leaving. Get out of town before they run you out on a rail. I've always been rigorous about not staying too long at the party. Bad form. Know when it's over. Look after my beautiful Delia, will you? My most… terrible failure. One that'll torment me into eternity, I imagine.
(Fiona downs a handful of pills.)
Myrtle: And you've chosen the perfect color for your lips. I could never pull off the corals.
Fiona: Make sure they hang my portrait in the place I chose. Don't let them store me in the basement with that disgraced Russian witch.
(Fiona gathers herself and lies down in bed.)
Myrtle: Half of it's paste, but goddamn half of it's good. (Myrtle helps herself to Fiona’s jewelry and walks out.)
Spalding: Madame. Wake up.
Fiona: Spalding?
Spalding: You need to take this. We must purge you of this poison.
Fiona: You can speak.
Spalding: Yes. I was murdered. Those idiot girls thought they could silence me, but they've only given me voice here in the spirit world. 300 years my family has been a clan of watchers. And now I see everything. Take this.
Fiona: No, Spalding… you don't understand. I am finally trying to do something decent… something noble for the coven.
Spalding: Horseshit. You're making a martyr of yourself by giving up. You've been tricked. You've allowed a pack of lesser witches to buffalo you into this ignominious end. I won't permit it.
Fiona: I don't understand.
Spalding: They've been running a number on you.
Fiona: Huh?
Spalding: Madison Montgomery is not the next Supreme. She didn't conquer death. She was brought back by some dirty little swamp witch. They've been leading you to your doom with lies. Lies… you swallowed more easily than those pills.
Fiona: Huh?
(He feeds her ipecac.
She throws up her pills in the bathroom.)
Fiona: Oh, Spalding you've always been my silent sentinel. And I will avenge your murder. Right after I've avenged my own.
Marie Laveau’s place
Queenie: Delphine?
Mme LaLaurie: Is that a Jumpin' Jack with cheese I smell? (Queenie brings Mme La Laurie her favorite fast food.) Mmm. Oh! Heaven.
Queenie: Ain't they feeding you?
Mme LaLaurie: All they ever do is bleed me for her poultice. Come tomorrow, I'm gonna be dry as a bone. Whatever did I do to deserve this betrayal? Didn't you like my pot pie and my peach crumble I learned how to make just for you? You put me in here. You can get me out Only for a minute, just so I can stretch my legs. This cage is just un..unfit for a human.
Marie: Which is why it's so perfect for you. What I told you about feeding the animals? Queenie?
Queenie: I'm sorry, Reine.
Marie: You know, when I had the idea to have you brought back to me, I thought of all the many ways I could dispose of you. But I've found it give me great pleasure just to know you in a cage.
Mme LaLaurie: Shut your mouth, Negress. Bring me something to drink in a clean glass, so I can enjoy my food in silence.
Marie: I'm not your damn maid! And if I were you, I wouldn't be so eager to show my arrogance from that side of the cage.
Mme LaLaurie: What you gonna do? Kill me? I can't die. Eh, throw me back in the box. I seen enough of this world. I'll take no part in a country that has a darkie in the White House. Hundred years from now, when they dig me up again, the natural order will be restored.
Marie: You think I only have those two choices? The mistake you make is from a lack of imagination.
Mme LaLaurie: I'm not afraid of you. I wouldn't give you that satisfaction.
(Marie goes for a large sword, Mme LaLaurie sticks her hand out of the cage for a moment and Marie grabs it and hacks it off.)
Mme LaLaurie: Dear God! Oh, my God!
Marie: You know, you're right, Delphine. This gave me no satisfaction. But we've only just begun.
Ramsey’s house
Luke: We can't go next door. It's the first place she'll look.
Nan: Then where?
Luke: I don't care. Anywhere. Just us.
Nan: You mean boyfriend-girlfriend? (Luke nods.) (Nan kisses him on the cheek.)
Joan: (calling 911) Yes, there's an intruder in my house right now. I'm staring at her. She's armed and dangerous.
Luke: That's a lie!
Joan: How dare you come into my house after what you've done.
Luke: Stay away from her! We're leaving, Mother. You can't stop us.
Joan: The hell I can't. I'm your mother. I made you and I can unmake you.
(A rifle sight appears on Mrs. Ramsey and she’s hit twice. More bullets come through the windows and Luke dives in front of them to protect Nan and is hit.)
Luke: No!
Nan: (crying) Luke. Don't leave me! I'm your Supreme.
Miss Robichaux's Academy
Cordelia: How about something less doleful, Myrtle?
Myrtle: It's Schubert's last sonata. It's all about acceptance of death.
Zoe: This is so incredibly stressful and weird.
Madison: You don't feel anything?
Misty: My stomach feels like a storm's about to hit, but it's probably just my nerves. I'm not exactly what you call a natural born leader.
Myrtle: Neither was King George, but one rises to the occasion.
Cordelia: Your feet should be getting warmer.
Myrtle: I'm told it starts as a tingle in the cooch.
Fiona: (comes in)For me, it started as a classic migraine. Auras, nausea, pain behind the eyes. You know, Myrtle, Schubert was emotional, not mawkish. So where… is this gifted little swamp witch that everyone's been talking about?
Ramsey’s house
(Paramedics are taking Luke to the ambulance.)
Nan: I'm going with him.
Fiona: Well, well, well. So you're the swamp witch I've heard so much about. It's not every day we see a witch with the power of resurgence. According to my daughter, a power fit for a Supreme.
Man: Hey, ladies, you can't be in here.
Fiona: Yes, we can. You're gonna tell us what happened here, Officer.
Officer: There was a shooting. Maybe a robbery gone wrong. Son has a grievous head wound. Mother is dead. We're waiting on the coroner.
Fiona: That's perfect. Here's one you can use your talent on.
In the street
Zoe: They think maybe it was a robbery.
Cordelia: And my mother? Misty?
Zoe: I saw Fiona go inside.
Cordelia: Lead me. Wait. There's something here.
(She finds a bullet and sees its trajectory and knows it was meant for witches. Inside, Misty brings Joan back, and slumps to the ground.)
Cordelia: This was no robbery. He was after us.
Miss Robichaux's Academy
(Kyle is playing with his children’s program.)
Male voice: This road goes two ways. See if you can guess which road the friends will take.
- Click –
Kyle: This…
Male voice: This road goes two ways.
Girl voice: Click on the microphone button and say the word.
(Zoe comes and they hug. She departs.)
Zoe: It's not you. We're under attack. None of us are safe. I have to get you out of here.
Kyle: No! This… road… goes… two ways.
Zoe: What does it mean, Kyle?
Kyle: I… love… you.
Zoe: I love you, too.
(Madison hears them and cries.)
Kitchen
In the morning
Fiona: Where are all the servants? I might have slept until noon. You didn't really make this coffee all on your own, did you?
Cordelia: I'm not entirely helpless, Mother.
Fiona: Oh, no, of course not. Though I do think we might move your bed downstairs. I mean, we wouldn't want you to have a… accident coming down those steps.
Cordelia: Wouldn't we? I'd much rather be found at the bottom of those stairs than be burned at the stake. According to Auntie Myrtle, that just hurts like hell.
Fiona: Oh, Cordelia. You don't really think I'd do something like that to my own daughter?
Cordelia: Cut the shit, Fiona. We both know I tried to orchestrate your death last night.
Fiona: Yes. And very nearly succeeded.
Cordelia: If you're waiting for me to get down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness, you can forget it. It's not gonna happen.
Fiona: Beg? I might throw you a parade. What you and your girls demonstrated last night was real grit. I finally have hope for the future of this coven. And you, my dear I'm so proud of. You really are my daughter.
Cordelia: Now you're proud? Hell if I knew how easy it was to win your approval, I would have made an attempt on your life way before now.
Fiona: What's this?
Cordelia: A silver bullet. I found it last night in the street.
Fiona: It's blessed.
Cordelia: Mm-hmm.
Fiona: Witch hunters.
Cordelia: I'll admit, when I found it, I was glad you were still with us. We need you now, Fiona. More than ever.
(doorbell rings)
Fiona: Where are the servants?
(She sees a cardboard box on the porch and, after scanning it with magic, takes it inside.)
Crodelia: Who was it?
Fiona: I don't know.
(She opens it. Delphine La Lauries head stares back at her.)
Mme LaLaurie: Help.
–[End]–
